angry-child-roaring

Toddler Tantrums: Hitting, Kicking, Scratching, and Biting

angry-child-roaring

Why Toddlers Get Aggressive, How to Respond to It, and What to Do to Prevent It

Most toddlers get aggressive sometimes. Tantrums and aggressive behaviours—hitting, kicking, scratching, and biting—don’t mean you’re a bad parent, but they are a call to action. Here are some thoughts and practical suggestions:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/going-beyond-intelligence/201701/toddler-tantrums-hitting-kicking-scratching-and-biting

child building

Young Children and Game-Playing: Ten Suggestions for Parents and Care-Givers

child building

Kids lead very busy lives. There are so many books to read, places to go, people to see, things to do, and games to play.

Games help to fuel children’s creativity–and vice versa.

Here are ten suggestions for parents, babysitters, camp counsellors, and other care-givers to consider when thinking about games for young children:

  1. Keep it safe. Children should feel comfortable within their environment. A safe and properly supervised setting is necessary for free-spirited play, and also allows adults to step back a bit and let children work things out for themselves—and then feel a sense of accomplishment.
  2. Encourage both independent play as well as interaction. Sometimes kids like to be on their own. However, connecting with others can lead to wonderful opportunities for learning and discovery, help children develop relationships, and give them a chance to practice important skills like sharing, listening, and taking turns.
  3. Make it fun. Don’t be fussy. Get creative! Involve the senses. Let play be unstructured, and if possible take the activity outdoors so everyone gets some fresh air.
  4. Boredom is okay. It lets children figure out what they want to do next, and what interests them. Don’t feel you have to fill a child’s every waking moment with activities.
  5. Keep a bin with lots of stuff handy. Arts and crafts supplies, dress up clothes, boxes, blocks, books, and what ever else might capture children’s imaginations and enable them to create their own games.
  6. Give children time and space. Don’t pressure children into adhering to time frames that short-circuit their game-playing. When it’s time to wrap things up reassure them that they can still continue whatever they’re doing another time.
  7. Respect children’s preferences. If they’re not interested in a particular game, set it aside. Don’t force kids to play a certain game just because you like it. Perhaps it will be more appealing another day. Talk together about other options.
  8. Make it developmentally appropriate. That is, not too simple as to be a drag, and not too complicated as to be overly challenging or to cause consternation. However, it’s okay if kids confront setbacks along the way because that’s how they learn resilience. Even the simplest board games are designed to show children that they can recoup if they hit a snag or move in the wrong direction.
  9. It’s not about winning. It’s about the pleasure of participating in something that is enjoyable, and potentially a learning experience.
  10. Cultivate curiosity. Harness spontaneity, including seizing the moment and trying something different or innovative, and let children take the lead and show what they’d like to do. For example, it may be something technological (fine in moderation) or something totally silly, or cerebral, or artsy, or low-key, or somewhat rough-and-tumble.

Above all, be supportive—of children’s choices, interests, abilities, and creative impulses.

For more information see Beyond Intelligence: Secrets for Raising Happily Productive  Kids by Dona Matthews, PhD and Joanne Foster, EdD (House of Anansi, 2014) and visit www.beyondintelligence.net.

Links to related articles that focus on play and child development:

Help Children Develop Their Talents and Creativity Via Play – by Dona Matthews

http://expertbeacon.com/help-children-develop-their-talents-and-creativity-play/#.VMTxlt77V-V

Six Ways to Protect Our Child’s Play Time – by Andrea Nair

http://www.yummymummyclub.ca/blogs/andrea-nair-button-pushing/20140305/protecting-our-childs-playtime

Stressed Out in America: Five Reasons to Let Your Kids Play – by Katie Hurley

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/katie-hurley/stressed-out-in-america-5-reasons-to-let-your-kids-play_b_4869863.html

 

 

 

 

front cover rsz

Ten Ideas for Parents Who Want to Raise a Happily Productive Child

front cover rszOn Dec. 7, 2014, I had a lot of fun doing a podcast interview with Scott Barry Kaufman. We had an interesting conversation about the nature and development of giftedness and talent, with some serious moments, and lots of laughs. He synopsized our talk brilliantly, writing, ‘Just had a delightful chat with Dona Matthews. I highly recommend her book, co-written with Joanne Foster, Beyond Intelligence: Secrets for Raising Happily Productive Kids.’

Scott went on, writing a great synopsis of many of the points Joanne Foster and I wanted to make in that book, framing it as ten ideas for parents, to help them raise a happily productive child:

  1. Be wary of your child’s “potential.” All children have a tremendous capacity for intelligence, no matter what anyone might predict, or how well they do on an intelligence test.
  2. Think about intelligence as a process rather than an innate essence that some people have more of than others. Intelligence is more about doing than being.
  3. Remember that intelligence develops incrementally, and varies across time, situations, and domains.
  4. Support your child’s particular kinds of intelligence. Each child has his own profile of different intelligences.
  5. Think carefully about the implications of any test results your child achieves, especially IQ. Scores don’t always mean what they seem to mean.
  6. Look for and encourage children’s involvement in music and second language learning experiences. These are valuable for all kids, but especially for those who don’t learn in traditional academic ways.
  7. Support your child in acquiring a growth mindset— the attitude that ability develops one step at a time, with hard work, persistence, and patience.
  8. Don’t praise your child for being intelligent. It’s better to be specific with your praise, by focusing on what she’s doing and how she’s doing it.
  9. Do praise your child for working hard. Thoughtful attention to detail (which can be painfully slow, challenging, and effortful) is how intelligence grows.
  10. Learn to have and display an open mind about obstacles, criticisms, and mistakes. Avoid blame. Think constructively about failures, seeing them as opportunities for learning about what needs more work.

You can find lots more about Beyond Intelligence: Secrets for Raising Happily Productive Kids at www.beyondintelligence.net

Thank you, Scott Barry Kaufman! You can find his podcasts and more about his wide ranging work supporting the development of intelligence, creativity, and imagination at http://scottbarrykaufman.com/

mom and little girl reading

Read to Your Child, Starting at Birth: It’s Good for Learning, Thinking, Imagining, and Relating

mom and little girl readingA child whose parents read to her, starting from birth, is more likely to do well in every area of life. She’ll start school with better language skills, find it easier to make and keep friends, feel better about herself, stay in school longer, and do better, both personally and professionally. That’s why the American Academy of Pediatrics is now asking 62,000 pediatricians across America to talk to parents about the importance of reading. Read more

How Parents Can Help Their Kids Build Their Intelligence

How Parents Can Help Kids Build Their Intelligence

How Parents Can Help Their Kids Build Their Intelligence

Children don’t start off smart. They become that way over time, with the right kinds of supports and learning opportunities at the right times in their lives. Here are four ways parents can actively participate in their child building a foundation for his or her intelligence:

1.      Appreciate your child’s unique profile of abilities:

  • Recognize that children’s abilities vary by domain—math, music, language, social, etc.—and that each child has a unique profile of intelligences. A child who’s highly capable in one area may have learning challenges in another area.
  • Pay attention to your child’s changing abilities, goals, attitudes, and interests.
  • Use different kinds of information sources, including school grades, and your own and others’ observations of your child’s interests, concerns, persistence, and motivation.
  • By appreciating individual developmental differences, you increase your child’s engagement in learning and intrinsic motivation, which leads to better learning outcomes, greater self-efficacy, and stronger likelihood of happy productivity across her life span.

Read more

Seeing Beyond the Distraction of IQ

rsz a_boy_a_girl_and_a_book

In our work with families and schools, we’ve noticed that people sometimes confuse encouraging the development of children’s real-world intelligence—that is, raising smarter kids—and raising their IQs. It’s a distinction worth noting. Here’s why.

Intelligence is so much more than a score on a test. Secrets for raising smarter kids include keeping the emphasis on thinking, learning, challenging, creating, finding balance, playing, working hard, collaborating, persevering, and becoming wise. Boosting a child’s real-world intelligence may boost his intelligence test score, but not necessarily. And vice versa. Read more

????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

Talk to Your Baby!

????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????Children who grow up in middle-class professional families start off ahead of their working-class peers, and their advantage keeps growing over time. There’s been a lot of energy, time, and money spent trying to address this learning gap, but in her recent article, Tina Rosenberg writes about new initiatives that are attempting to prevent the poverty disadvantage happening in the first place. In the studies described in her article, parents read to their toddlers, and take advantage of community resources like read-aloud day at the local library. Parents also learn how to talk to their babies from birth on. Read more